Why wont people adopt teens..................?{adopt...

there are plenty that need homes and aren't badly behaved (at least not more than an average teen) and some dont even have a handicap





im one example but i just got adopted January 22nd 2008. i also have friends i met through my caseworker that are regular teens that need forever families.its sad when people are so cliche and want a baby with blond hair and blue





jut my opinion what are some reasons people wouldnt adopt a teen?would you honestly ever consider it, why/ why not?

Why wont people adopt teens..................?{adopt...
Simply my opinion.... but here it is...





I think most people don't want teens first because they're missing out on the entire childhood. I'm not saying that these teens are "bad" or don't deserve forever homes, but they are at the end of the childhood cycle, not the beginning.





Also, the teens are rough years. Hormones come into play, and there's just so much more work than say a child at the infant stage.





Teens that have been through multiple homes and been through the whole experience of not being wanted, are going to have some type of emotional scarring.





In no way am I saying that they are undeserving of having a permanent home with permanent parents, but it would take a very exceptional couple to be able to happily adopt teens. And unfortunitly for the teens waiting to be adopted those parents are very few %26amp; far between
Reply:Well congratulations on your adoption. I do think it’s sad that more teens don’t get adopted. People feel that teens come with more issues which can be the case even more if they have been in the FCS their whole life. I know that not all have major issues but I guess some people aren’t willing to take that chance. They want babies and toddlers, even once a child gets past the age of 4 ½ or 5 years they are considered old and harder to place. Would I consider adopting a teenager? Yes I would but since I’ll only be 25 this year. If I did adopt a teen it would be when I was in my mid 40’s to early 50’s.
Reply:i think it's bc people want the option of looking like a "real family", via infant adoption.





it all goes back to the blatent selfishness of baby stealing adopters.
Reply:Most people want babies because they will be around longer. Teenager's are hard not all of them go through being wild and un rudely. And face it most of these teenagers have been in the system to long and have had to go through alot. What would be nice is for these children to be adopted young so they will have a home of their own by the time they get to be teenagers.
Reply:because of the stereotypes.
Reply:I will consider in adopting a teen because they are children who need a family. With all the stereotypes about them they wouldn't consider them. It's the same thing as adopting a baby eventually the baby would grow to be a teenagers. Everyone has been a teenager, so adopting a teen wouldn't be wrong because you are giving them a second chance of what does being in a family feels like instead of having them live in the orphange.
Reply:It's true-teens are horribly stereotyped as "troublemakers, the ones who are going to mess up a successful home".





In my opinion, that is crap.





Some teens are very good children, just as deserving of a good home as a baby.
Reply:People don't adopt them because they will be leaving home soon and or want a little kid because he or she is cute.





Teen have tantrums and adopting parents don't like that, so they are least likely to adopt them
Reply:because people sterio type teens. They all think teens are stupid,dumb, idiotic. Well, some are, some aren't.
Reply:Some reasons they don't adopt teens are because they try to be older than they really are and it is expensive to raise teens because they want things that are very high............i would kinda consider it but they would have to be a honest person with a clean attitude.......
Reply:I actually am interested in not adopting teens, but in adopting maybe an 8 or 9 year old, and it's because, mainly, i can't stand younger children, want to help a kid in a tough situation, and i want more time then just two or three years, but i definitely would love to adopt an older child
Reply:Congrats on your new home!!! It is programmed in the minds that they are bad, too old, too close to adulthood can't really raise them, don't want to deal with the teenage problems, talking back, being hard headed, your not my parents, and etc. They prefer a baby so they will get to know them and grow attached to them and so on.
Reply:what happens is that a lot of babies that are up for adoption may have not come from a stable home and children under the age of 4 are more likely to not still have the effects of their past life in later life.
Reply:There are 10 + years of formation that have taken place in their absence.





Chances of unkown traits deep in the psychotic nature are there---a supressed history of abuse with its consequent results discourage one/make an incentive to start from scratch.





They want their own child not someone else's mistake---not in the sense of conception but in sense of failure to parent properly.





The fact that adoptee has been passed around this long indicates damaged merchandise.





Child psychologists (God bless'em!) have determined that the most important phase for character imprinting is the first 10 month or so of life ! So if you are Xteen years old you are way past the point of gaining character from the new parent !! Kinda makes ya mad huh !





the teens represent the deepest trouble availble to youngsters---fights causing serious injury/death, pregnancy,automobile driving-crashing--insurance--gotta have one--staying out too late--being mobile means access to all sorts of trouble not previously accessible--a very expensive toy for junior to play with.





Is the usual adoptive parent ready to assume this level of involvement with someone who up till this point in time was a stranger to them ? Had there been a few years to get acquainted with the kid the transition into adolescence might be easier. I remember being told that my hormones were raging ! (didn't seem that way to me though---just a few pimples and a miscellaneous erection now and then)











On the other hand some advantages exist as well:





Diaper duty


Night feedings


Terrible twos


playground spats


worry over early childhood woes(falling into pools,playing with matches,going into street w/out looking etc.)





Anyway thats my 2 ¢ worth so best of luck in your new home-----there is no accounting for what love can accomplish in this sort of dilemna and with the right people many hurdles can be successfully overcome !
Reply:i suppose people think teens are moody and not nice?! i mean, wouldn't you rather an adorable little infant?
Reply:well i dont see why if they're well behaved but they have a harder time bonding with their forever families


its basically like saying, i know youve lived like this for 15 years but this is your family now


you have to love them


it'd be hard on the kid and the parent
Reply:Congrats!! My Aunt adopted 6 almost 7 children thru foster care before she died. Four of her children were teenagers. So there are some people out there.





Myself, I have found a 13 yr old girl in foster care that i would love to adopt. Hubby thinks 5 kids are enough! I'm still working on him. Keeping my fingers crossed.





Seriously, I'm so very happy for you and your new family!
Reply:I would take in a teen, but not until my children are grown. It isn't out of concern that the adopted child would necessarily be "bad" for my children, so much as wanting to make sure I do a good job of the task at hand before taking on another.
Reply:Because they are too old. They can take care of them selves now. People usually adopt babies or newborns,since they were little.
Reply:Congratulations on your new family! We are doing our foster adopt though an agency that has a teen girls home. I have met some of the girls and would love to take them home with me. However, we won't be adopting a teen at least for a while even though going to do foster adopt. It is not because we have anything against adopting a teen, but because we currently have 11, 14, and 18 year olds living with us and another teen in the mix we don't think would mesh well with our family right now. We are looking at younger than 11 now since we would like to keep whomever we foster or adopt younger than our youngest. However, the older he gets, the more age range that opens up for us. We don't care what hair, eye, or skin color the child has, we are just ready to add to our family. :)
Reply:they probaly think they are trouble becuase puberty and they havent learned stuff like actual people who were borned to them. and also the parents probaly want to start like a new beggining and teach it from stcratch anc it probaly wont know its adopted so it will be like shes actually part of the famile and teens know whats going on so they will complain and will be depressed
Reply:My Mom has been a foster parent since she was 26; I was her first....now she's 65 and bring babies home from the hospital that are born addicted...she also adopted several of her foster babies.....I would, but I'm disabled and single..so don't think they'd let me.
Reply:idk but this is sad =(P well atleast you did and best of luck to your friend
Reply:People don't adopt teens because once they're grown they usually have a BAD attitude and it's hard to deal with them because they'll want to do things their own way however, if you adopt a little kid you will be able to educate him/her your own way.
Reply:Cassie





There are actually people who do adopt teens but not enough.





The other problem is that sometimes the State will not place a teen with a family unless that family has had a great deal of parenting experience.





So many people who would like to adopt have not had any children... and often times the state is worried these parents just won't be able to deal with it.





Even my husband and I were surprised when we asked to adopt children over the age of 8 and ended up being placed with young siblings under the age of 6





Most teens end up adopted in families where there is the most parents experience.... or with single parents I have noticed...





Congratulations on YOUR Adoption!!!!!!
Reply:This question shoudl be not just asked of potential adoptive parents. Adopting a teen for barren people means grieving the loss of not having children and going through the developmental states. We were approached about teenagers, but said we wanted under 6, any cultural, any disabilities etc. but no, we could not do teenagers.





In fact, those best suited to adopt a teenager may be those who have already had teenagers in their lives. To go from no children to teenager is quite a shock! Having been a foster parent I think we ALL have a responsiblity to the children in care, not just focused on adoptive parents.





By the way, the word "handicap" is actually quite offensive, the correct terminology is "person with a disability".
Reply:I am 29 years old. I had my first child at 17 years old. 4 children later my husband and I want and are looking toward to adopting an older kid. babies are wonderful but we want someone to fit in with the age range in our family. Everyone deserves a family
Reply:I don't think it that nobody will adopt teens, I think that majority feel that if they are going to adopt, they want to have more impact and development in an individuals life. Children still are being developed, however many teens are already set in their ways or they are harder to get through to because they have developed themselves. Plus they will only be adopted for a few years until they of age to leave.





My parents past away when I was younger so I was raised by one of my aunts when I was a teen. It was a terrible experience. We didn't get along and she had a hard time talking to me and I the same. I felt like Cinderella......I think she didn't know how to approach me and instead because she had her own kids. I became the step child that did all the work..
Reply:They are brats at that age. Sorry but its the truth.
Reply:because they already have values, morals and ideals that are in them and parents want to instill their values, morals and ideals in their children so they want infants or at least toddlers





i'd never adopt period as i don't want a used child but that's just me
Reply:people do not lick children's other than theirs

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