I have been consistently keeping up with the adolescent section. What I saw really shocked me. I had never imagined that so many teens were having sex and getting pregnant. I remember posting a question here a few months ago asking if I was the only teen who abstained; the overall answer was no. I realize that my priority as a 16-year-old is to be paying attention in school and getting a good education to secure a stable future. However, I have a few questions now.
1) While it is obvious that hormones are active in all teens, why don't teens look to the future when deciding to have sex?
2) Is there anything we can do to lower the teen pregnancy rate? It is clear the "abstinence-only" idea isn't working.
Coming from a traditional family, I've never had a bf (I'm happy with that) and it was discouraged because it distracted one from school. Now, I see that one can have a bf/gf and still succeed. Why don't teens realize this and plan for the future?
This is from a 16 year old...
What do you think we should do with teens today?
congrats to you for abstaining! i'm 19, and am doing the same.
1. i think "my hormones are raging" is a crappy excuse. everyone has hormones going crazy around that age, but it is possible to keep your pants on. i think most teens are so focused on what's "cool" and what's going to benefit them in the moment, that they obviously don't realize the seriousness of their actions. i, for one, do not want to be plagued with an std for the rest of my life... or have a "surprise" baby. babies shouldn't be unwanted.
2. i just feel that parents need to talk to their kids about sex. they can't just set it on the back burner because it's going to be awkward to talk about. know what's gonna be really awkward? when their daughter comes home at 13 and says, "i'm pregnant". my parents never had the "talk" with me, but i feel i turned out fine. however, if some kids don't get information from their parents or from their schools, they're going to get it from somewhere else (their friends) who have also been misinformed.
Reply:I'm sixteen as well, but I have had a boyfriend for nearly two years. I'm also in the International Baccalaureate program at my school. I also live in an area with an INCREDIBLY high teen pregnancy rate, as in one of the top three in all of canada.
1) I did look to the future, I plan on becomming a french teacher. A child isn't what I want, but I'm on birth control.. and contrary to popular belief it honestly isn't that easy to become pregnant. Biology teachers normally elaborate on that.
2) The education needs to come earlier, I received it before having sex, while many other people don't pay enough attention in school and end up dropping out. Therefore, it's not making it to those who need it most.
And I fully realize this, my boyfriend and I both have jobs, we still plan on being together later on. We know what we're going to inherit and we also know what house we're going to live in. You can't tell me I haven't planned, as I worked hard to be as respected as I have become in my community. Many people know who I am even when I don't know them. I just placed high in our regional science fair as well. Plus I've begun next year's project already.
Reply:1. Most teens don't really care. I had someone tell me that by the time I am a sophmore, almost everyone will have had sex...not true but still.
2. No, not really.
I want to wait till marraige because I am Christian and really it is a personal choice. I hope I can stick to it ^^
Reply:Because too many teens are agonizingly stupid, they all want to be playas and have relationshipless sex and smoke crack and whatnot. Most of the preggos at my school seem to be proud of getting pregnant, like they don't realize how horrible that is for them and the baby. Basically, they're all naive.
Reply:I think you are right about "the future" being key. And in this case, Im supporting the media for actually helping (minus Britney, Lindsay, Paris) My babysitter, who's 16, is into the shows CSI, and Bones, and wants to be a forensic scientist - and while I may not think about these as being appropriate for kids, at least they show strong women, in smart roles, whose careers would be really tough to get being a teen mother.
Reply:Well I always say that it starts at home. Parents expect their teens to make mistakes and learn from them. But the parents still need to be parents and guide their teen's through these years. If the relationship between parent and teen is not good, then I say that is where all the problems start. Key is to be in your teen's life everyday, talking to them, knowing what they are doing and who they are hanging out with. I am deeply saddened by the teens that are out there doing their own thing without their parents guidance. Not only that, but to think really how many parents aren't even talking to their kids on a daily basis. Sure teens are going to rebel, that's what teens do. And the teens that are having sex, unprotected, if their parents can't get through to them, who is going to get through to them. Going back to my previous statement, "parents that don't talk to their teens" - it is almost like they are letting the teens raise themselves. So IMHO it all starts at home, the parents that ARE being there for their teens are less likely to become grandparents at a young age as opposed to the parents that just ignore what their teens are doing.
Reply:because most teens aren't smart. or they want to rebel. and today that's a lot easier, more accepted, and even considered cool if you've had sex.
Reply:Hun, Im sorry to tell you but most teens aren't that smart.
Our generation is a "me" generation. They only think about themselves and the here and now and don't think a thing about how their decisions will affect them in the future.
A girl I know from my swim team, just told me she was pregnant today.
My first thoughts were:
How was she going to get through school?
What about college?
How is she going to afford this?
I was thinking, she is only 16, she doesn't get to go out there and experience life. She isn't going to get to do a lot now.
Im really worried. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to not care about those types of people and forget them but then im truly concerned and I don't want to see her fail.
Academic-wise, shes a bright girl, shes very smart.
Reply:wats wrong with sex, damn
dont give me abstinence bull$hit
Reply:It would take too long to answer your question but all I can say is your parents should write a book on how to raise a child properly because you sound like a very level headed person so obviously they did something right. If I was your parent I would be very proud of you.
Reply:not me, I'm 16.
1. Nope, must teens don't plan for the future most are concern about what is in-front of them. Sadly really.
2.No, the only way to lower the teen pregnancy rate is if the parents closely monitor their kid's active.And yes it is clear the abstinence-only" idea isn't working but the teacher unions and politicians only care about money and indoctrination kids.
Reply:Because many teens think it is cool to have sex so early and always want to 'get laid.'
I know this girl at my school and wow is she a major s l u t. She had a gang bang with three guys from my school at a party I was at. That's not all. She is known all around. She has had sex with many different guys from different schools and she thinks she has a std or something.
Anyway I am 100% with you. eventhough I curently have a boyfriend, I believe in Abstinence. Some teenagers find it stupid but what is really stupid is that they need sex to be cool.
Reply:Unfortunately, many teens are beginning to lose their senses of self-respect and integrity and are opening their legs earlier and skipping sex ed classes more.
I'm just concerned about how they intend to provide for their children and teach them the basics of life if the vast majority of them never finish high school.
I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18 because I realized that pretty much all high school "relationships" are superficial and end by graduation. I just knew better and I'm glad you do too. :) It's always uplifting to stumble across a teenager that actually gets it.
Reply:I think parents need to step up and chaperone their kids. They did it when they were 5, they can do it at 15 or 16. I know former teen parents who are doing that, and their kids aren't sexually active.
Edit: Some of these kids are now grown, and married before having babies. Not one of these kids got pregnant out of wedlock, and all were adults.
Reply:We can take a page out of Johnathan Swift's book and eat all the teens.
Reply:I totally agree with you *gives you cookies*
I'm 17, I've never had a boyfriend either, though've I've had a few chances, they weren't with anyone I cared for. High school guys are retarded, most not worth the time of day. They aren't ready for the kinds of relationships most girls are looking for. You know, the deep, emotionally intimate kind XD
I look to the future about having sex because I think of my own life. My mom got together with my dad after my aunt died, and she ended up marrying him because she got pregnant with me. She thought he was the one, but he turned out to be a controlling jackass uber-jerk XP
I don't think its fair for kids to suffer because of what their parents did. I don't like seeing kids go through what I had to go through, and I definitely do not want to put a child through something like that, so thats another reason why I have no desire to have sex yet, and I will save the baby making until I'm with the guy that I truly want to make babies with =B
I think the only thing that would lower the rate is the castrate some of them horndog boys and preform a few hysterectomy's
on some of the girls who don't know when to keep their legs closed.
So yeah, theres really no way to lower the rate.
At this time of life, most teens are living in the here and now. Many of them have not gone through life events that have made them want to think about or plan for the future. They don't think of consequences. This is usually the time of life where they START making the mistakes that make them start thinking about the future!
Unfortuneatly, most people don't learn that they shouldn't have had sex until after they have it, and get pregnant or get an STD or heartbroken or whatever.
Its a thing you can't drill into their skulls, unless they're future thinkers, most of them aren't gonna learn until they screw up themselves, and thats just a teenager thing.
Reply:Because there hormones are urging them or the boy is saying lies and teens fall for it some do. we can lower it by just talking to our sons and daughter daily about what not to do in sautraion so that they wont do it
Reply:we need better parents. i totally agree with everything you say. i finally found another teen who cares
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